The Decline of Dick and Balls in America

Yesterday I was sitting at a stoplight in my truck when I was presented with a stark example of what is wrong with American culture today. What I saw reminded me once again why collectively as a nation we are entering our twilight years.

Sitting next to me at the stoplight was a dude on a Harley. He was your typical old-school Harley rider – craggy looks, mutton chops, an open-faced helmet that didn’t cover his ears, tattoos, and more than a few scars on his arms probably earned from years of bar fights. Sitting on the back of his Harley was an attractive woman wearing cutoff shorts and a tank top. The guy was a perfect example of old school American Dick and Balls. And his reward for it was sitting on the back of his Harley.

Behind the Harley rider was a guy in a battery car. He was riding alone. I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew why.

Dick and Balls is on the decline in America. Turn on the TV if you want proof. There you’ll be treated to an endless parade of “tough” NFL players crying like babies at their retirement ceremonies, or some poor square-jawed Handsome Dan with tears running down his face because he just got sent home by the Bachelorette.

Expand the example of the Harley rider and the Prius driver to our nation and you’ll have a better understanding of why America is slowly descending into chaos. The reason is simple – we live in a country where Dick and Balls is on the decline. We have become a listless, weak society led by listless and weak politicians, some of whom cry when they get in front of a camera.

Anyone who knows anything about human nature knows that weakness invites violence. Our society is just one natural disaster away from total lawlessness. Anyone who doesn’t believe this didn’t watch the news coverage of Hurricane Katrina. Even some of the police were looting the stores in New Orleans. Imagine being a woman in a situation like that with no one to protect you.

I once read a review about the movie The 300 that said the majority of the viewers of that movie were women, and that many of them returned to see the movie more than once. The women interviewed for the article said that it wasn’t because the Spartan warriors were ripped and well-muscled, but rather because of the theme of the movie – strong men defending their nation and their women. A man that thinks a woman wants anything else is just fooling himself, and probably sleeping alone while doing it.

A very attractive woman once said to me, “the last thing a woman wants is another pussy. We’ve already got one of those.” That just about sums it all up.

The young women of today’s America have a hard road ahead of them as they try to find a decent man in a sea of metrosexual males that cry on demand, refuse to own firearms, and ride around in battery cars sipping pumpkin lattes from Starbucks.

If you’re one of those guys, ask yourself this – is it really worth taking a punch on your man card just to save a few bucks on gas?

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