The Electric Hog

The streets of America are about to become a lot quieter. Harley Davidson has announced that they will soon bring an electric motorcycle to the market.

An electric Hog? Say it ain’t so.

Nice bike, but still… Photo by Harley Davidson

If you had any doubts that America is losing its Dick and Balls then this should clear it up for you. One of the most recognizable symbols of the American road is the Harley Davidson motorcycle. The sound of a Harley says one thing – American Dick and Balls. None of the other bikes on the road even come close to it. To replace that classic, throaty sound with the wheezing, high-pitched whine of an electric motor seems almost criminal.

And to make matters worse, Harley has announced that the electric Hog will only have a range of about 100 miles per charge. Who wants to ride to Sturgis or Daytona stopping every 100 miles for a charge?

The first thing I noticed when I saw a photo of the electric Hog was that it has a seat built for only one person. This makes perfect sense. No self-respecting woman would be caught riding on the back of an electric motorcycle. And besides, carrying the ole’ lady on the back would probably drop the range to 50 miles per charge. You can’t even leave town on mileage that low. Might as well just take the Prius.

Harley says they’re after the younger male and female riders who might be open to the idea of an electric motorcycle. Good luck to them. These poor kids are already riding around in battery cars so selling them an electric scoot to park next to their Prius might not be such a hard thing to do. Just make sure it has an Ipod jack.

And I hope Harley remembers to put a cup holder on the electric Hog. Gotta have something to hold that raspberry caramel latte.

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